Script

 

Speak don't tell

A small, quiet town. The story unfolds over several days and nights, primarily in isolated, eerie locations such as a dimly lit alley, a shadowy park, and an abandoned house. The atmosphere is tense, with a feeling of something lurking.

Scene 1: The Alleyway

(Night. The camera moves slowly down a narrow, dimly lit alley. The only sounds are distant footsteps and the rustling of paper in the wind. The alley is filled with shadows, and the atmosphere is suspenseful.)

Narrator 
(calm)

It begins with the murmur of the wind, the sound of footsteps barely heard over the almost haunting sounds of the night. This is where it starts, where life meets death in the shadows that most dare not enter.

(The camera focuses on a man, Victim 1, walking down the alley. He glances around nervously, feeling the presence of something unknown.)

Narrator
(Amused)

Our friend here, he feels it. That chilling sensation up his spine, the tickle of fear.  He’s right to be afraid, you know. Who knows what may happen in the dark.

(A shadowy figure, the Killer, steps out from behind a corner. The man doesn’t see him until it’s too late. The attack is swift, brutal. The man’s body crumples to the ground, lifeless.)

Narrator
(Almost satisfied)

And there it is. Quick, efficient. A tale as old as time, one might say. The night claims its victim, and the alley returns to silence.

(The camera lingers on the lifeless body before slowly pulling away, the alley consuming the scene in darkness.)

Scene 2: The Park

(Sunset. The camera follows Victim 2, a Man jogging through a park. The setting sun casts shadows across the path.)

Narrator

Daylight is such a comforting thing, isn’t it? The warmth of the sun, the feeling of safety and comfort it brings. But as the sun begins to set, the true nature of the world is revealed.

(The man pauses to catch his breath, oblivious to the figure lurking in the trees. The camera captures the Killer’s movements, silent and swift.)

Narrator 

It is an unfortunate thought that life can be taken so quickly from a person so full of energy... (Sighs) Such is the cruelty of this world.

(The Killer strikes, quick and deadly. The man struggles briefly but is overpowered. The park falls silent as his body goes limp.)

Narrator 

 
However, it may be said that there is a certain beauty in it, wouldn't you say? The way life can be taken in an instant. The outcome of life is inevitable regardless of when it happens.

(The camera zooms out, showing the stillness of the park, the body barely visible in the shadows.)

Scene 3: The Abandoned House

(Night. The camera slowly reveals an abandoned house. Victim 3, a man, cautiously explores with a flashlight.)

Narrator
Curiosity is what brought him here, into this place long forgotten. He shouldn’t be here, of course, but we all have do things we shoudnt sometimes right?

(The man shines his flashlight around, revealing glimpses of the Killer hiding in the darkness. The tension builds as the man senses he is not alone.)

Narrator
(Excited)
He knows now. He feels the eyes on him, But it’s too late, isn’t it? He came looking for answers, and in a way, he got them.

(The Killer emerges from the shadows, and a violent struggle ensues. The man fights desperately, but the Killer is relentless. The struggle ends with the man’s lifeless body slumped against the wall.)

Narrator
(Satisfied)
 He believed he could outplay death, but death always win...

(The camera pans across the room, the silence deafening. But then, a creak, someone else is here.)

Scene 4: The Confrontation

(Suddenly, a figure bursts into the room,a relative of one of the victims. The Killer is caught off guard, a brief look of shock on his face. A struggle ensues, but this time, the Killer is the one overpowered. The relative stabs the Killer, who collapses to the ground, gasping for breath.)

Narrator
(weak)
No... this isn’t right... It wasn’t supposed to end like this. Not for me...

(The Killer’s breathing becomes heavy as he clutches the wound. The camera closes in on his face, showing his eyes, wide with fear.)

Narrator
(Content, smiling)
Its almost poetic come to think about it... Death claims us all....

(The Killer’s eyes close, and his breathing stops. The camera lingers on his lifeless face for a moment, then slowly pulls back.)

(Silence. The narration has stopped.)

(The camera continues to pull back, showing the scene of the crime. The house is silent once more, the only sound the distant sound of wind in the night.)

First page script

 

Speak don't tell

A small, quiet town. The story unfolds over several days and nights, primarily in isolated, eerie locations such as a dimly lit alley, a shadowy park, and an abandoned house. The atmosphere is tense, with a feeling of something lurking.

Scene 1: The Alleyway

(Night. The camera moves slowly down a narrow, dimly lit alley. The only sounds are distant footsteps and the rustling of paper in the wind. The alley is filled with shadows, and the atmosphere is suspenseful.)

Narrator 
(calm)

It begins with the murmur of the wind, the sound of footsteps barely heard over the almost haunting sounds of the night. This is where it starts, where life meets death in the shadows that most dare not enter.

(The camera focuses on a man, Victim 1, walking down the alley. He glances around nervously, feeling the presence of something unknown.)

Narrator
(Amused)

Our friend here, he feels it. That chilling sensation up his spine, the tickle of fear.  He’s right to be afraid, you know. Who knows what may happen in the dark.

(A shadowy figure, the Killer, steps out from behind a corner. The man doesn’t see him until it’s too late. The attack is swift, brutal. The man’s body crumples to the ground, lifeless.)

Narrator
(Almost satisfied)

And there it is. Quick, efficient. A tale as old as time, one might say. The night claims its victim, and the alley returns to silence.

(The camera lingers on the lifeless body before slowly pulling away, the alley consuming the scene in darkness.)

Synopsis

Speak don't tell

A murder has occurred. A hooded figure was spotted on cctv killing in cold blood. Victim, Timothy James.

Time, 12pm, location, alleyway. The killer managed to escape the crime scene undetected, without showing his face at any point. 

The police appear at the crime scene moments later and all there is on the scene is various pictures of the victim, proving that the killer had been stalking them for a while. There are also some encrypted codes. The police take the evidence back to the the detective where it is analysed to no avail. This is all narrated over by a strange man, who at first appears to be a regular narrator, but as the narrative progresses,  he appears to become more bias in favour of the killer. 

The next murder happened a week later, William Henry, dead in a field, time, 12pm. The killer again manages to escape unseen and unscathed. The police arrive on the crime scene, again discovering seemingly untraceable and indecipherable clues, rendering them no closer to solving the case. 

The final murder of the narrative occurs 2 weeks later, Jeffrey Stark, again at midnight, outside an office. The police decipher that the killer is obsessed with the number twelve for some reason. The narrator is particularly enticed by this murder, praising the killer on his ability to kill and not be caught. The narrator then blames a random passerby as the murderer, a completely ludicrous accusation. He does this throughout narrative, building suspicion on him as the random people he blames are unlinked to the murders in any way. (This is for comedic effect)

The narrator becomes more and more unhinged and unstable sounding more like a psychopath. He mentions twelve a lot in his dialogue as well. This is because he is obsessed with the number twelve as he has trauma from when he was this age. The hooded murderer can then be seen being beat to death by one of the victims relatives. The story ends with the murderer being killed and the narration stops. 

Key characters

Murderer - A mysterious figure of very few words, a psychopath that revels in his dastardly deeds. Murder. The reason that they are so unstable is because they went through a traumatic experience at the age of twelve, which is why they have a certain obsession with the number twelve. This can be seen through the people in which he chooses to take the lives of, who all have names that consist of twelve letters and only commits these heinous crimes at twelve pm, the dead of night. This character is being watched from a third person perspective.

Timothy James - The first victim found, name consisting of twelve letters. A timid man, stalked and murdered in an alleyway. This character will be viewed from the third person perspective.

William Henry - The second victim found, name consisting of twelve letters. An athlete stalked and murdered in a field. This character will be written and viewed from a third person perspective.

Jeffrey Stark - A businessman with a large ego. Name consisting of twelve letters. The last victim. Killed outside of an office. This character will be written from the third person perspective.

The police - A group of police, sent to the crime scenes of the murders. They are unable to decipher the clues left by the killer. they will be written from the third person perspective.

The Narrator - A man who appears omnipotent, describing what is going on in the narrative. He appears to be unbiased and trustworthy at first, but slowly becomes more and more opinionated throughout the narrative, raising suspicion. When the murderer is killed, the narration stops. This character will be written from the first person perspective.

The relative - A man out for vengeance after hearing the news about his sons death. He slays the murderer in cold blood. This character will be written from the third person perspective. 

Narrative

Three act narrative structure

Beginning - A man is walking down a dark alleyway 

Inciting incident - The man is killed by a hooded figure.

Act one climax - The police arrive on the scene and are unable to decipher the clues left by the murderer.

Obstacles - There has been another murder in a field at night. The police arrive on the scene again and are unable to figure out the clues. 

Midpoint - The narrator becomes noticeably more opinionated on the murders, praising the murderer on his abilities. 

Obstacles - The third murder occurs outside of an office. The police arrive once again and are still unable to decipher any of the clues left. 

Act two climax - Narrator goes off on a tangent, praising the killer on his abilities. The audience then follows the killer at his home. He is then murdered brutally by a relative of one of the victims.

Act three climax - The murderer is dead.

Resolution - The narration stops.

Todorov's narrative structure

Equilibrium - Timothy James is in an alleyway, late at night 

Disruption - He is murdered. The narration begins.

Recognition - The police arrive on the crime scene every time a murder is committed. 

Repair - The murderer is killed 

New equilibrium - The narration stops

Linear and non linear narrative 

The thriller that I will be making will follow a linear narrative. This is because it will allow the audience to follow the story fluidly with minimal confusion. 

Narrative devices 

Setting - The settings for the thriller are alleyways, reflecting the claustrophobic nature of the scenes, adding to the tension in the narrative.

Cliff hanger - The thriller will end without a conclusive ending. This creates a level of suspense in the narrative as the audience 

 

Genre 

My thriller falls under the psychological thriller genre with elements of dark comedy, blending tension and mystery with a twisted sense of humour. I wanted to explore themes like obsession, particularly with the number twelve, and how childhood trauma can shape a person into something monstrous. The story also plays with the idea of morality, showing how easily the lines between justice and vengeance can blur, especially through the narrator, who slowly begins to sympathise with the killer. I was interested in the idea of surveillance and anonymity, and how someone can exist right under everyone’s noses without being truly seen. One of the key themes I’ve focused on is the unreliability of narration. By making the narrator more unhinged as the story progresses, I want the audience to feel off-balance, unsure of who they can trust, or if they’re even seeing the full truth at all.

Swot analysis

 

Initial ideas